funny

• I took a pain pill Y r u still here....
• I can only please one person a day. Today isn’t your day.Tommorrow doesn’t look good either.
• '’I LOVE YOU ‘’ is eight letters, so is BULLSHIT.
• Beer doesn’t make you FAT; it makes you LEAN against bars, chairs tables & walls.
• Ucry I cry,U laugh-I laugh,U jump off a cliff –I laugh even harder.
• Kisses spread germs……Germs are hated….so kiss me baby..i am VACINATED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• Smile and the world smile with u,laugh & they’ll all think you are on DRUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• It’s a beautiful day, Now watch some assholes Fuck it up.
• Handle every situation like a dog, if you can’t eat it or screw it, Piss on it and walk away.
• Procrastinators unite tomorrow…
• I speak Sarcasm as 2nd language.
• We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police
• I m not ignoring you. You’re just INSIGNIFICANT.
• Remember my name; u’ll be screaming it later.
• Live for the moments u can’t put in words.
• You tried ur best and FAILED miserably, the lesson is ‘’never TRY ‘’
• Heaven won’t have me & Hells afraid I ll take over…so I guess I m stuck here ;)
• Faith believes in things when common sense tells you not to!!!!!!!!!
• It’s so simple to be wise, just think of something STUPID to say & say the opposite.
• Remember it’s mandatory to grow old but it is optional to grow up.
• If you can’t convince people, confuse them.
• Never think about the mistakes u MADE, think about the Mistakes you will MAKE.
• Whether the glass if half full or Half Empty, you will still get the drink.